2013 Year in Review

I welcomed in the 2013 New Year laughing with and enjoying the company of good friends in the hills of North Carolina. On the trek south I had a wonderful visit with my aunt and uncle in Indiana and the journey back allowed me to call in on my cousin and her family in Kentucky.

In January, I resumed a rather heavy load of undergrad classes which proved to be thought provoking and entertaining. My field of study was English where for 4 months I lived and breathed Shakespeare’s A Tempest and the Hunger Games Trilogy, among other works and topics.

The New Year also brought with it a new vigor for running. December 1^st, I registered for my second half-marathon taking place on April 13 thinking by then Michigan would be entering its beautiful spring weather phase. Snow, sleet and wind on that day proved otherwise. Undeterred, I ran this race and many more in the months following, picking up a few enthusiastic running buddies along the way.  

It was a delight beyond words to return to Prague in May to celebrate the completion of service of Denise and Keith Jones after 15 years as Rector at the International Baptist Theological Seminary. This was my first visit after leaving Prague in February 2010, and it was a rich and meaningful time with dear friends. 

I completed my undergrad courses in April and in May began taking classes full-time in the Graduate Teacher Certification (GTC) program at Grand Valley State University. Throughout the summer I had an intensive schedule of classes which were interesting and challenging.

My summer was full of fun and small adventures. I did a lot of running, some biking, and a bit of camping. Alongside of my school responsibilities, I continued work as Director of Children and Family Ministries at Grandville United Methodist Church.

This fall I entered my first elementary classroom to begin Teaching Assisting and (starting January 2014) Student Teaching. I have fallen in love with twenty-three 3^rd graders and look forward to my own class in the future.

An unexpected highlight of 2013 was a weekend in Florida! A family who has become good friends and I spent an early weekend of November not only in Florida, but in Disney World. We didn’t just run around the parks, but we ran through the parks for the Wine & Dine Half-Marathon. I felt like a little kid and loved it!

My 2013 was not laden with so many changes as 2012, for which I am thankful. This was a year of settling-in and carrying-on in new routines and environments. As best I could, I kept my head in the books, my feet on the ground, and my heart stayed on what was important.

I wish for each of you that 2014 will be full of adventures, peace and laughter; and that you will experience God’s love in amazing ways.

Have a joyous holiday season! 

~ Vanessa

Third Place

I've been ruminating on a particular singlehood preponderance for some time. It's a recognition of a reality that makes my heart a little sad. I will preface this by reaffirming my continued contentment and current preference to being single. For me. 

The thought first came to me late winter/early spring when I was running a number of races around West Michigan. I was consistently getting third place in my age category. I was happy to be placing and it was always a thrill to hear my name announced calling me up to receive my award. However, I eventually grew tired of my third place stagnation and longed for and worked at moving into second or first place.  

During my phase of third placedness I recall sighing to a friend, "I'm tired of being third place." My saying that out loud kept the phrase resonating in my head throughout the day. In a completely separate area of life, I was arranging a few outings with friends independently of each other, and due to spouses or children nothing seemed to be falling into place.

I translated my third place position in running to my third place position in relationships. Please do NOT read this as an invitation to a pity party for poor single Vanessa. This is not the case. It is just a realization of the place that a single adult often holds in relationships with friends who are married or in committed relationships.

It is nice to be someone's No.#1. Really nice. To know that you will be the person that they will and can change plans for. To be the one that they will tell their stories to first, to be number one on their speed dial. To be the one consulted on purchases, trips, or employment opportunities.

My dearest friends will cancel or postpone plans with me if a husband/wife/significant other prefers, decides, or needs them to. A husband works late. A child is sick. A wife would rather you just stay home. (Oh, yes, I realize those examples drip with stereotypes, but you get my point.)

Nope, I'm not asking for change. I fully appreciate the commitment and mutual respect in families and I want to be a cheerleader for that. Always.

Just because it makes me a little sad, doesn't mean I'm calling for an upheaval of family relations and order. I have rich and endearing friendships that make my heart glad. They are full of laughter and love. I am deeply valued and respected and given opportunity to express love uniquely to them - even from third place.

A Week of Waiting

Being confident that Sunday morning at 0900 hours I would be registering to run a marathon at the end of May, my mind went to a happy, gluttonous place. My mouth followed.

Training for a marathon, I'm told, will put me in the best shape of my life. In light of this, I thought I would have a final hurrah for my taste buds by eating and drinking consumables that I'm not sure I even missed, but were sure nice to indulge in.

However, as noted earlier, the great run registration has been delayed ~ not good for two reasons.

Firstly, it has given me too much time to contemplate my sanity in having earlier decided that running a marathon was a good idea. I'm tempted to bypass this whole endeavor.

Secondly, it has given me seven more days to look ahead a few months to when I will be in the "best shape of my life", and thus have been eating without borders. Ugh. And I feel it ~ gross and heavy. This coupled with the blizzard and piles of snow on my running paths has kept me indoors and doing very little. Even visiting the gym has been dull and close to effortless.

This evening, apart from some nice red wine, I've changed my course and won't imbibe so freely and consequently continue to lose whatever level of fitness I may have achieved from my earlier running activities.

So, tomorrow morning, early morning, I'm off to the gym. Not a chance of running outside with our current Michigan Winter Wonderland. And we'll see what happens on Registration Sunday.

He who hesitates is lost

Uh Oh! 

Now I have one week in which I will likely talk myself out of and into registering for this marathon about 14 times!

The Road Ahead

Tomorrow afternoon I will lace up

after having registered for the

taking place on 

Yes, I may be a little

Wish me luck!

Two million steps back

Because, of course, marriage is Biblically mandated and if you aren't married, you aren't a whole person.  

Again? Really?

A Tuesday with many names

I stole the below information from the ever dependable Wikipedia. Some of my dear blog-followers may feel like they are back in Sunday School, but not all Sunday Schools are equal. It wasn't until I was an adult and living in Prague (after 26 years of Sunday School) did I learn about Shrove Tuesday, Ash Wednesday, and the Lenten Season. This is why I post it here - to remind myself and maybe give you a bit of new info.

Shrove Tuesday (also known as Pancake Tuesday and Pancake Day) is the day preceding Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent. The expression "Shrove Tuesday" comes from the word shrive, meaning "confess."  

The term Mardi gras is French for Fat Tuesday, referring to the practice of the last night of eating richer, fatty foods before the ritual fasting of the 40 days of the Lenten season.

Pancakes are associated with the day preceding Lent because they were a way to use up rich foods such as eggs, milk, and sugar, before Lent. 

I am just coming back from the kitchen where I mixed together a small bowl of batter for my own Fat Tuesday pancakes to carry with me to school today. However, I guess they may already fit into the Lenten fasting food group, since I chose a more healthy recipe that used no milk or sugar... and even my eggs were only the whites! Regardless, I'm still really looking forward to eating them in virtual communion with fellow Christ followers around the world - especially in my beloved Prague. 

Speaking of "my beloved Prague", as I was gathering and mixing my pancake ingredients this woman came warmly and fondly to mind. 

I borrowed this photo from the IBTS facebook page. You should follow them!

Isn't she gorgeous? During my nearly seven years in Prague she was a woman whom I grew to deeply respect and love... and still do. I am honored to call her a dear friend. I could do one full and lengthy blog post on her, and very possibly an entire blog site on the fact that everyone needs a Denise in their lives!

What brings her to mind on this day, is that she was the preparer and server of Fat Tuesday pancakes every year on the day before Ash Wednesday for the seminary community where we lived and worked together.

The above photo was taken today (!) whilst she is eating one of her delicious pancakes.

Happy Pancake Day!

"I know what sex is."

It's the type of sentence that never comes at an appropriate time and when voiced has you quickly thinking how to redirect that child's attention. 

Particularly in this setting.

Orlando was my seven year old charge during a weekly afternoon tutoring program. We were struggling through math problems and I was usually appreciative for an escape from the work. Not this time. 

He was rather proud of himself. Firstly, for knowing about such an adult topic and secondly, for being able to capture the full attention of both me and the 4th grade girl sitting at our table. 

I told Orlando that it is important to know what sex is, but now was not the time to talk about it. Seeing the smirk on the face of 4th grade girl and being told that he shouldn't continue he, of course, continued.

"Sex is a man and a woman..." At which moment, I sternly interrupted him saying, "Orlando, that's enough." Ah, but you know the resoluteness of children. He repeated himself, "Sex is a man and a woman." Full stop. "That is what sex is, a man and a woman." 

Huge sigh of relief. 

My young Orlando understood "sex" as "gender". 

I did not correct or clarify.

Back to Mathematics...

I Met a Guy

I know exactly what you are thinking. It's your first reaction, as it would be mine.

"Who is he? Is he single?"

If you are the kind not to pry out loud, this banner of questions is running through your mind.

And that's okay. Or... is it?

Can I meet a guy, tell you about how intriguing, or unusual, or intellectual, or athletic (etc.) he is and not need to preface the rest of the story with his relationship status or potential for coupling?

Mine is a question of curiosity more than anything. I was this (holding thumb and forefinger very, very close together) to posting "I met a guy" on Facebook and leave it to my friends to comment in their suspense, thus supporting my theory of "first question response".

I didn't for two reasons:

1) It's not fair to those who think I will have found my potential complete happiness in locating this fellow because surely he's single, otherwise why would I bother posting (or befriending him, for that matter). And I didn't want to have to explain that it was a silly experiment and in so doing, let them down.

2) I know the answer. A Facebook friend (single, female, late 30's) posted about an exciting weekend, which included spending time with her "man". Clearly this was the first time that she made public any kind of "man" because the excited, enthusiastic, and demanding-more-info comments filled up my home page.

There is no bitterness in my tone, don't worry. It's just a post of awareness and realization. I would wonder and want to ask the same questions. I would be excited with a friend who is just on the cusp of "love" and possible partnership. I love that stuff..

I write because of the societal expectations that are revealed in this simple declaration of "meeting a guy".

And now your curious!

The Memory of a Melody

I love all these songs. 

Each time I hear them I am brought back to a particular time and memory. 

People and places whom I love and have loved.

Lessons learned. 

There are many more, of course, but this is a start and makes me happy to revisit them....

She's a Butterfly

She's a butterfly

Pretty as a crimson sky
Nothing's ever gonna bring her down
And everywhere she goes 
Everybody knows
She's so glad to be alive
She's a butterfly

Like the purest light
In a dark world
So much hope inside
Such a lovely girl
You should see her fly
It's almost magical
It makes you wanna cry
She's so beautiful

God bless the butterfly
Giver her the strength to fly
Never let her wings touch the ground
God bless the butterfly
Giver her the strength to fly
Never let her wings touch the ground

Cinderella Syndrome

I am 33 years old. I am single. I am normal(ish). I am happy. Yes, you read all that correctly. No typos. No missing "not".

I love people and yep, I love men... a lot and for a lot of reasons.  What?   I'm human. I'm female. 

That being said, I remain confident that I can have (and do have!) a fulfilling, fun, and love-filled life as a single person. I'm not finding a lot of single adults in this category and that is what worries me.


I've learned not to be offended when people assume I am married and make the quick, furtive glance to my left hand in search of a diamond. I'm okay with that. Though, it was a process to get to here.

In reaching this point, I have not lost my appreciation for romance, relationships, and marriage, but I do not assume or hope for some Grizzly Adams or Prince Charming (depending on your type!) who will make my life complete and perfect and blissful. 

If we are single or married, life is tough and beautiful. It is a gift to be lived to the fullest with meaningful relationships and appreciation of creation around us - regardless what box we check for "relationship status".  

Oh, I want to write so much more on this. Specifically in regards to "singlism" (the stigmatizing of adults who are single) and how that influences women (and men) who do not have a wedding band accessorizing their ring finger. 

Our society, churches, and culture (thinking West Michigan, right now) do not positively contribute to a happy, convenient, single lifestyle. 

Silly, but real example: Take a few minutes and look through your most recent coupon book or flier. Compare the "Buy one, Get one" to the "10% off" coupons. Yep, the buy one, get ones win! I don't use two-thirds (and more!) of the coupons I receive and want to use because I dine, sip coffee, or attend galleries, shows and museums alone... and like it. 

I'll return to this in a later post. I'm not bitter, don't worry. Just ruminating and thinking and writing (and procrastinating from literature homework).

2012-2013 Transition

Just a month ago I was sitting in my little Honda as I took a little road trip to celebrate the New Year. Not having the finances to fly somewhere warm, I looked through my "Facebook" friends to see whom I could visit within driving distance, announced my plans, and plotted my adventure.

It was a fun journey, as I drove south a few hours and stayed the first evening with my aunt and uncle in Indiana. We told stories, talked "teaching, looked at photos, and laughed. Unexpectantingly, I was able to visit Sunday morning church with them the next day, which was an excellent way to start the rest of my trip.

A wonderful drive through the mountains (and a few other states) brought me to Black Mountain, North Carolina, where I met up with an amazing couple whom I had not seen since (my first!) college days in 2001. Their small town was incredible and one that I immediately decided I could move to and maybe should!
We laughed and talked and made plans for New Year 2014!

Our New Years and Pre-New Years' celebrations had us meeting up with some intriguing folks:

• Roberto Riviera, restauranteer turned philosopher and carpenter
• Bookstore Rob, who would have won an ugly sweater contest with Jonesy the Tibetan Shar Pei
• Ben "Belgium", writer, lawyer, preacher, bicyclist...
• Paul, who could be homeless, the French Revolutionist.
• Salvadore Graziano, Bohemian, Italian hammer dulcimer street musician
• Deviant Dale, limit two... usually
• ... and more!

On New Years Day I began my journey home and was delighted to be able to stop in Kentucky to visit my cousin, her husband and adorable child! Though a short visit, it was refreshing to see them again - and their son for the first time. 

Well, there was my few moments of reminiscing over the moments when I said farewell to 2012 and welcomed 2013 with smiles and delight! 

Back to School... again

Starting tomorrow the above classes will be taking up 17 credits of my life for the next four months. I admit it, I'm excited to start again!

It'll be a heavier load than before the holidays, but I've got my pencils sharpened, notebooks purchased, and book-lists in hand.

Bring on the new semester - I'm ready!!

Pour Féliciter

Some familiar faces from Prague sent me New Year greetings!

And now I forward them on to you...

Both of these friends bring many memories of fun, meaningful, and unique stories.

Thanks Ivan and Gabinka!