Here I am...

Between the exhilaration of Beginning
and the satisfaction of Concluding
is the Middle Time
   of enduring, changing, trying,
   despairing, continuing, becoming.
Jesus Christ was the man of God’s Middle Time
between Creation and . . . Accomplishment.
Through him God said of Creation,
“Without mistake.”
And of Accomplishment,
“Without doubt.”
And we, in our Middle Times
   of wondering, waiting, hurrying,
   hesitating, regretting, revising;
We who have begun many things—
and seen but few completed;
We who are becoming more—and less;
through the evidence of God’s Middle Time
have a stabilizing hint
   that we are not mistakes,
   that we are irreplaceable,
   that our Being is of interest
   and our Doing is of purpose,
   that our Being and our Doing
   are surrounded by AMEN.
Jesus Christ is the Completer
   of unfinished people
   with unfinished work
   in unfinished times.
May he keep us from sinking, ceasing,
wasting, solidifying—
that we may be for him
experimenters, enablers, encouragers,
and associates in Accomplishment.

Poem: Middle Time
Poet: Lona Fowler
Thanks to: Two dear missionaries for directing this poem my way many years ago.

Silence does not always equal inactivity

My studies:
     Remaining at Grand Valley State University, I am moving from a very part-time student to a very full-time    student. Beginning this autumn I will be taking a heavy load of courses with the intent to obtain a Graduate Teaching Certificate by Spring 2014.


My job:
     Tuesday, July 31 is my last day as full-time Administrative Assistant for the Academic Office (previously for the Vice President of Academic Affairs) at Calvin Theological Seminary.
     Monday, August 13 is my first official working day as part-time Director of Children and Family Ministries at Grandville United Methodist Church.


My church:
     See above.


My address:
     The 900 plus square foot apartment that I've called 'home' for the last two years is being vacated and I'm relocating back to the Canal Ave. address here in Grandville where I spent the majority of my growing up years.


My housemate(s):
     This Friday I am bidding a (hopefully not too tearful) farewell to my dear four-legged furry companion, as he moves in with a family that will have more time and space to love and care for him. In his place, I will become the housemate to very wonderful, loving and embracing parents - my own.


My relationship status:
     Oooh, this is much more complicated than I wish to explain, or can explain... even to myself.


Collectively the process of making these decisions and acting on these changes over the last few months have been extremely taxing - and still are. I have found myself crying quickly, becoming easily aggravated, and wishing things from people that they are not ready or able to give. 


I have learned how much I thrive on routine and from that routine I feel the freedom for creativity and spontaneity.  


I have learned that self-doubt and God-doubt are too easily embraced, accepted and used as an excuse for non-action and immaturity. 


I have learned to follow dreams and move forward into the unknown and recognize God's little (and big) affirmations along the way. 


And so I move on ~ confidently and optimistically in this new venture of my journey!

Weak Week

It's been a long week in this little Ramblewood apartment. Not one that I want to forget or need to do over, but just get through honorably. I've been sad and frustrated and hopeful and energized, all at separate times and sometimes all at once. And that, my dear Vagabond Vignette web-log readers, is tiring! 

I know that every experience, every decision, every relationship is an opportunity to learn from, mature through and even be excited about, but still... it's tiring.

Through it all, I aim to live a life that is true to myself by holding onto my integrity, that is true to others by relating to them sincerely, and that is true to my faith by acting justly, loving mercy and walking humbly with God (ala Micah 6:8). These are my most earnest desires and though failing often, I press on. 

And by God's grace I live in genuine thanksgiving for yesterday and vibrant hope for tomorrow.  

For future reference, if anyone out there specializes cleaning dog feces from apartment carpets, I'm taking numbers...  Yeah, I told you it's been quite a week!

This just made me smile !!

The Countdown begins

Week 17 (16 left!) workout log:

•  4 runs totaling 25.92 miles
• 1 hour of spin class
• 2 hours of power yoga
• 12.07 miles bike ride along the hills of West Michigan.
• 1 hour gym workout including stationary bike, elliptical, planks, etc.

Whilst preparing for my half-marathon a few years ago (wow –it was that long!), I didn’t do much reading and research, just running. It worked for me and I loved it, most of it. Doubling that distance frightens me a lot! a bit, so I’m doing some blog snooping and magazine reading to compile what seems to be a running regime that would work for me and I would enjoy.

Three things that I take away from various marathoners is: 

Just Run.

Not every run needs to be long or timed, but they need to be. I will continue to run around Grandville so as to remind my body at every opportunity that it likes to run and it needs to eventually like 26.2 miles worth of running.

In light of this, I plan to start a few two-a-days, which simultaneously frightens and excites me! (A casualty of this will be running in pre-sweated running clothes… yuck)

Strengthen My Core.

Power yoga and a Spin class (free perks through my apartment complex!) have been slotted into my weekly workout calendar. Though I’ve been running fairly regularly, it was very obvious that certain muscles had been neglected by my myopic workouts, so bring on the planks and speed spinning! 

Don’t Give Up.

The last miles of the 26.2 is a battle of mind over matter, of mental endurance winning victory over physical exhaustion. This is what I’m told through my virtual running partners and gurus. Even now in the midst of my ‘long’ runs I contemplate cutting it short, because I have many months before the marathon, but I push myself. One more mile -  mind over matter. I know I can do it, as long as I keep moving.  And it feels so much better at the end knowing that I didn’t give up!

Every weekend I’ll log runs and workouts on this very exciting web-log, to keep an ongoing record of where I’ve been and where I need to go – which is still a loooong way.

I’m excited and nervous, but optimistic. Cautiously optimistic...

"The Scent of Peace"

A little Calvin Seminary chapel talk from Vanessa this past autumn 2011, muchly influenced by my years in Europe and the loved ones there. If you are one of them - you may hear your words in my own.

If you're bored and want to hear my voice, have a listen (not to worry it's not more than 13 minutes long).

https://internal.calvinseminary.edu/lectures/archive3903.ram

DeGrumping with Google

I admit it. I Google... everything!

I google-research.
I google-translate.
I google-cheat.
I google-map.
I google-stalk.
I google-procrastinate.

In leisure, in work, and in life - Google is unashamedly my phonebook, encyclopedia, dictionary, atlas, photographer, and newspaper.

This morning I google-happified my day. For a variety of very small reasons, my day began gloomily. I could have (and sadly tend to) remained in my funk and gone throughout the rest of the morning in an Eeyore-like manner, however I like myself better when I'm happy - as do others, I'm sure.

Yep, I turned to google for assistance in my transformation from grumpy to gleeful. I researched "Happy Music", listened to a few suggestions and then through a google-rabbit trail happened upon a Happy Music playlist.

How can you not smile when within a half hour you have typed e-mails to the rhythm of the Beer Barrel Polka, Happy Feet sung by Kermit the Frog, and a Czech group singing in Czech, English and Spanish. I dare you not to smile!

And if that doesn't work:



NB: This is not an invitation to turn political on me and begin a discussion thread about the dumbing down of society due to the convenience of information found on the internet... I just like Google!

Racing Into The Light

Should be interesting!

Beauty

There is not a single person in West Michigan right now whom you will find complaining about the weather. We are living daily with temps 40degrees above average and everyone is happy. Everyone.

This past Friday night, I was drawn to visit Lake Michigan, walk along the beach, and watch the sunset. It was an amazing experience. Only a few people. An expansive gorgeous sky. Peaceful rolling waves.

It was an evening of quiet, reflection and restoration after a full week consisting of both good and bad days.

This moment of calming gratitude set my mind at ease from concerns that had been swirling and filled my heart with peaceful assurance that my life is truly blessed.

For the good and the bad, past mistakes and triumphs, I am thankful. Days ahead will consist of the same, and God will be faithful still.

He is there.

He has created the beauty of the sunset.
He has created the beauty of friendships.
He has created the beauty of memory and the beauty of dreams.

Really?

"Missing someone gets easier everyday
because even though you are one day
further from the last time you saw them,
you are one day closer to the next time you will."

Only as old as you feel

Understanding the new mathematics of age determination for dogs, Silas and I are the same age... until May and he jumps to 36 years old!

Poor guy.

Then next year the big "4-0"!

Some days ...

... you just gotta get yourself a bouquet of flowers.
This is one of those days.

I love this... church

"That'll preach!"

I'm afraid I can't give proper credit as to where this phrase originated. I first heard it from a dearly beloved youth pastor turned pastor in the church that I grew up in. It was used in various situations and circumstances when something was said or done that had significant redeeming quality and life lesson attached to it.

I get these "that'll preach" moments at odd times. I recently was sitting in chapel at Calvin Seminary and listening to a sermon when a complete different sermon on the same text was being written in my head. I do indeed hope to get the chance to develop it further someday!

Nonetheless, it brought me back to another "that'll preach" situation. I was in a country music phase (they come and go) in the early 2000's when I had first heard Toby Keith's "I Love this Bar". I was fascinated by the lyrics. My immediate thought was, "This should be our churches!" and a close second was, "That'll preach."

May the front (and back) doors of the church open wide and the Christians therein embrace all those who enter with far reaching and welcoming arms, so that all can say that they indeed love their church.

We got winners, we got losers
Chain smokers and boozers
And we got yuppies, we got bikers
We got thirsty hitchhikers
And the girls next door dress up like movie stars

I love this bar

We got cowboys, we got truckers
Broken-hearted fools and suckers
And we got hustlers, we got fighters
Early birds and all-nighters
And the veterans talk about their battle scars

I love this bar

It's my kind of place
Just walkin' through the front door
Puts a big smile on my face
It ain't too far, come as you are

I love this bar

I've seen short skirts, we got high-techs
Blue-collar boys and rednecks
And we got lovers, lots of lookers
And I've even seen dancing girls and hookers
And we like to drink our beer from a mason jar

I love this bar

It's my kind of place
Just trollin' around the dance floor
Puts a big smile on my face
No cover charge, come as you are

I love this bar

Of Buckets and Gardens

When the movie "The Bucket List" came out in 2007, it set the trend for dreamers and demanders to create their own record of experiences to have before they kicked said “bucket”.

As with most other viewers inspired by the tale, I sat down to make a list. In doing so, I realized that my perspective on my life’s journey was very different than the two terminally ill men in the movie and consequently my bucket list remained empty.

Looking back on my 32 years, it has been an exciting adventure. I do not have regrets. I do not have “I wish I would have…” whispering over my shoulder.

Trying not to be cliché, I have tended to live under the banner to “bloom where you are planted.” Changing cities, countries, jobs, and friends, I've pursued to love life and enjoy what each setting has to offer. Certainly there have been times of discontent, unhappiness, and longing for change; but overall I believe I have found meaning and delight in a variety of experiences every place I have lived.

I do not want to go bungee jumping. But if I were in the right place at the right time, I may be persuaded to jump off some bridge while attached to an extra strength rubber band.

I don’t need to sit at a street café with a view of the Eiffel tower or float in the salty waters of the Dead Sea. However, if my travels took me to the Champ de Mars or wandering through the Jordan Valley, I certainly would absorb both of these opportunities with pleasure.

I won’t feel my life is not complete if I haven’t seen a kangaroo searching for its breakfast in the Australian grasslands or identified the presidential heads of Mount Rushmore. Though these would be experiences I’d never forget, to be sure.

I’ve danced in the rain, eaten random raw and non-raw items, been skinny dipping, gone on a cruise, stayed up all night to watch the sunrise, ridden a camel in the Sahara desert… and the list continues. My relationships have been sincere and meaningful, as well as, silly and mundane. I have loved and I have lost. It's been a rich and extensive journey. Every bit of it, I'm thankful for and truly have experienced God's goodness and grace throughout.

This being said, I’m excited to see where the trajectory of my life is headed and curious what new opportunities await. Excited about the future and enjoying the present. No buckets here, just gardens!

Christmas 2011, New Years 2012

Christmas and New Years was excellent; celebrating the days with family and long-time friends, and even making new ones along the way.

For your visual enjoyment, here's the pictorial synopsis:

A week or so before Christmas, two dear friends and I went off to visit the jolly old fellow in the red suit. Pictures of him are yet to appear, but here we are excited for the annual meeting!

25 December, Christmas Day, my parents and I celebrated with a feast and gift exchange with the Lake side of the family. (My first photo without those metal wires holding my teeth in place! Happy Christmas to me!)

Boxing Day (26 December) we celebrated Christmas with my mom's sister and her family, who also live in West Michigan. My mom was excited to have found Christmas crackers at World Market, so we popped them open to each receive a small gift and a Christmas paper crown from inside! (Notice the bright sun! - A true winter has yet to arrive.)

A few days prior to ringing and singing in the New Year, I flew from Grand Rapids to Oklahoma City, to meet up with a good friend from college (and beyond) who now lives in Washington state.

(This is a classic photo of us; my being unashamedly ridiculous & friend just pleasantly putting up with me.)

We played in the park in the sun with friends and their children.

We avoided colliding with horses who were annoyed that we drove down their street.

We played pool in a smoke-filled local joint, while observing a one-armed cowboy dance to off-key karaoke music.

The 2011-2012 transition was spent in the Bricktown section of Oklahoma City. After walking around trying to stay awake and warm, we settled into "Toby Keith's" for some live (and good!) music and cheese fries.

(We learned that in OK City, the big lit New Years' ball goes up and midnight, it does not drop... yeah, we missed the big countdown...)

Following an IHOP brunch on New Years' day we walked to the Oklahoma City memorial that was set up after 168 people (including nineteen children under 6 years of age) died from a bomb attack in 1995. It was moving.

Content and sleep-deprived, I returned to a much colder Grand Rapids in the early hours of January 2nd, where I caught a bit of sleep before waking early to begin the real life of Vanessa again.

Happy New Year, with love and cheer!
~V