Two million steps back

Because, of course, marriage is Biblically mandated and if you aren't married, you aren't a whole person.  

Again? Really?

A Tuesday with many names

I stole the below information from the ever dependable Wikipedia. Some of my dear blog-followers may feel like they are back in Sunday School, but not all Sunday Schools are equal. It wasn't until I was an adult and living in Prague (after 26 years of Sunday School) did I learn about Shrove Tuesday, Ash Wednesday, and the Lenten Season. This is why I post it here - to remind myself and maybe give you a bit of new info.

Shrove Tuesday (also known as Pancake Tuesday and Pancake Day) is the day preceding Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent. The expression "Shrove Tuesday" comes from the word shrive, meaning "confess."  

The term Mardi gras is French for Fat Tuesday, referring to the practice of the last night of eating richer, fatty foods before the ritual fasting of the 40 days of the Lenten season.

Pancakes are associated with the day preceding Lent because they were a way to use up rich foods such as eggs, milk, and sugar, before Lent. 

I am just coming back from the kitchen where I mixed together a small bowl of batter for my own Fat Tuesday pancakes to carry with me to school today. However, I guess they may already fit into the Lenten fasting food group, since I chose a more healthy recipe that used no milk or sugar... and even my eggs were only the whites! Regardless, I'm still really looking forward to eating them in virtual communion with fellow Christ followers around the world - especially in my beloved Prague. 

Speaking of "my beloved Prague", as I was gathering and mixing my pancake ingredients this woman came warmly and fondly to mind. 

I borrowed this photo from the IBTS facebook page. You should follow them!

Isn't she gorgeous? During my nearly seven years in Prague she was a woman whom I grew to deeply respect and love... and still do. I am honored to call her a dear friend. I could do one full and lengthy blog post on her, and very possibly an entire blog site on the fact that everyone needs a Denise in their lives!

What brings her to mind on this day, is that she was the preparer and server of Fat Tuesday pancakes every year on the day before Ash Wednesday for the seminary community where we lived and worked together.

The above photo was taken today (!) whilst she is eating one of her delicious pancakes.

Happy Pancake Day!

"I know what sex is."

It's the type of sentence that never comes at an appropriate time and when voiced has you quickly thinking how to redirect that child's attention. 

Particularly in this setting.

Orlando was my seven year old charge during a weekly afternoon tutoring program. We were struggling through math problems and I was usually appreciative for an escape from the work. Not this time. 

He was rather proud of himself. Firstly, for knowing about such an adult topic and secondly, for being able to capture the full attention of both me and the 4th grade girl sitting at our table. 

I told Orlando that it is important to know what sex is, but now was not the time to talk about it. Seeing the smirk on the face of 4th grade girl and being told that he shouldn't continue he, of course, continued.

"Sex is a man and a woman..." At which moment, I sternly interrupted him saying, "Orlando, that's enough." Ah, but you know the resoluteness of children. He repeated himself, "Sex is a man and a woman." Full stop. "That is what sex is, a man and a woman." 

Huge sigh of relief. 

My young Orlando understood "sex" as "gender". 

I did not correct or clarify.

Back to Mathematics...

I Met a Guy

I know exactly what you are thinking. It's your first reaction, as it would be mine.

"Who is he? Is he single?"

If you are the kind not to pry out loud, this banner of questions is running through your mind.

And that's okay. Or... is it?

Can I meet a guy, tell you about how intriguing, or unusual, or intellectual, or athletic (etc.) he is and not need to preface the rest of the story with his relationship status or potential for coupling?

Mine is a question of curiosity more than anything. I was this (holding thumb and forefinger very, very close together) to posting "I met a guy" on Facebook and leave it to my friends to comment in their suspense, thus supporting my theory of "first question response".

I didn't for two reasons:

1) It's not fair to those who think I will have found my potential complete happiness in locating this fellow because surely he's single, otherwise why would I bother posting (or befriending him, for that matter). And I didn't want to have to explain that it was a silly experiment and in so doing, let them down.

2) I know the answer. A Facebook friend (single, female, late 30's) posted about an exciting weekend, which included spending time with her "man". Clearly this was the first time that she made public any kind of "man" because the excited, enthusiastic, and demanding-more-info comments filled up my home page.

There is no bitterness in my tone, don't worry. It's just a post of awareness and realization. I would wonder and want to ask the same questions. I would be excited with a friend who is just on the cusp of "love" and possible partnership. I love that stuff..

I write because of the societal expectations that are revealed in this simple declaration of "meeting a guy".

And now your curious!

The Memory of a Melody

I love all these songs. 

Each time I hear them I am brought back to a particular time and memory. 

People and places whom I love and have loved.

Lessons learned. 

There are many more, of course, but this is a start and makes me happy to revisit them....

She's a Butterfly

She's a butterfly

Pretty as a crimson sky
Nothing's ever gonna bring her down
And everywhere she goes 
Everybody knows
She's so glad to be alive
She's a butterfly

Like the purest light
In a dark world
So much hope inside
Such a lovely girl
You should see her fly
It's almost magical
It makes you wanna cry
She's so beautiful

God bless the butterfly
Giver her the strength to fly
Never let her wings touch the ground
God bless the butterfly
Giver her the strength to fly
Never let her wings touch the ground

Cinderella Syndrome

I am 33 years old. I am single. I am normal(ish). I am happy. Yes, you read all that correctly. No typos. No missing "not".

I love people and yep, I love men... a lot and for a lot of reasons.  What?   I'm human. I'm female. 

That being said, I remain confident that I can have (and do have!) a fulfilling, fun, and love-filled life as a single person. I'm not finding a lot of single adults in this category and that is what worries me.


I've learned not to be offended when people assume I am married and make the quick, furtive glance to my left hand in search of a diamond. I'm okay with that. Though, it was a process to get to here.

In reaching this point, I have not lost my appreciation for romance, relationships, and marriage, but I do not assume or hope for some Grizzly Adams or Prince Charming (depending on your type!) who will make my life complete and perfect and blissful. 

If we are single or married, life is tough and beautiful. It is a gift to be lived to the fullest with meaningful relationships and appreciation of creation around us - regardless what box we check for "relationship status".  

Oh, I want to write so much more on this. Specifically in regards to "singlism" (the stigmatizing of adults who are single) and how that influences women (and men) who do not have a wedding band accessorizing their ring finger. 

Our society, churches, and culture (thinking West Michigan, right now) do not positively contribute to a happy, convenient, single lifestyle. 

Silly, but real example: Take a few minutes and look through your most recent coupon book or flier. Compare the "Buy one, Get one" to the "10% off" coupons. Yep, the buy one, get ones win! I don't use two-thirds (and more!) of the coupons I receive and want to use because I dine, sip coffee, or attend galleries, shows and museums alone... and like it. 

I'll return to this in a later post. I'm not bitter, don't worry. Just ruminating and thinking and writing (and procrastinating from literature homework).