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Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Being Present

A few Sundays ago, I was privileged to speak in our church. What I love about this is the preparation. I love studying the scriptures and then relating those scriptures to my own story and our collective Christian journey.

I put a short, modified excerpt of it here mainly for me. To remember. To be encouraged. And to be sorrowful when I do not live the life that I preach:

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things

Cream colored ponies and crisp apple streudels
Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
These are a few of my favorite things

Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
Silver white winters that melt into springs
These are a few of my favorite things

When the dog bites
When the bee stings
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad

Jesus has been born and being the father of this newborn has changed Joseph’s life completely. He looks at this baby boy, Jesus, with love. He would do anything in his power to protect him. He doesn’t want this child to suffer, ever. Joseph’s heart breaks a little when he cries and watches as Mary tenderly consoles him. But his heart trembles with anxiety and worry. What child starts out life being born away from home and family and in an old barn with livestock. And yes, if this child is really the Messiah and the prophecies come true, the life of his son and his wife will be full of pain and misunderstanding.

And now this dream, this frightful dream which foretells of the threat of death that Herod is to Jesus. Joseph must gather his family in the middle of the night and flee. This was not the dream he had planned or hoped for for himself, his lovely Mary and certainly not for their baby boy.

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens…  I cannot imagine that the advice of the governess Maria would do Joseph very well on this fearful night. Joseph’s favorite things, his dreams, or his “happy place” would not bring any amount of peace or solace.

A number of years ago I became familiar with the ethicist and theologian James McClendon. He’s not very widely known as he wasn't a prolific writer; but what he did publish was insightful, scholarly and at times profound.  In one of his writings he talks about the virtue of presence.  What it meant to be present and to be present for someone in our Christian witness.

McClendon said “Presence is being one’s self for someone else; it is refusing the temptation to withdraw mentally and emotionally.” The virtue of presence is basically being here and being real. It is about emotional and spiritual space, not just physical space.

We can all recall times when we have been with a friend, a spouse, a child, and though he or she was right next to you or across from you, they were not with you. Their mind was somewhere else.  Not necessarily because of a phone in their hand or the football game playing on the screen over your head, but their heart was distracted. They were listening and responding accordingly, but not present.

When we are present with someone it is about being sensitive to what’s going on around you, and not just in you. 

I admit it is hard to always be consciously present with someone. The vibration of the phone in my pocket, my worries about a forthcoming class, or the shop I need to get to before it closes – these distractions keep my heart from being with your heart.

I have to and must make an effort when I am with someone to be present with them: to hear them and to feel them; to not come with my agenda and anxieties, but to listen to their heart; to not be sorrowful about the past or anxious about the future, but to be present right then and there.

Presence does not always have words. It does not always need actions. It is understanding. And sometimes not understanding, but trying. Presence is an available shoulder to cry on, hand to hold, ear to listen. It isputting our own body’s weight and shape alongside the neighbor, the friend, the lover in need.”

Immanuel, God with us, came to earth. Lived our lives. He knows our messed up world. He took our shape. He aligned himself up next to us and said, “I understand. I have been there and I am here.” His presence was real and with us.

As believers we are called to be Christ to others. To be present, to embody the love, grace and forgiveness that Jesus came to be. We are called to carry the light of hope in a world that is pressed down with hopelessness to people who have forgotten or chosen not to believe.

Our presence must be real to those who do not know Christ. Our presence must be real to each one of us sitting here today, it expresses to our sisters and brothers that we are indeed family. With the same bump and bruises and struggles of any family, but because of Christ we journey together in love and hope. And we care for the person sitting next to us, in front of us, behind us, up here behind the pulpit, behind the soundboard in the nursery, in the Sunday School classes.

Keith and Denise Jones. Joyce DeRidder. Joe Ann Shelton. Parush Parushev. Mark Vroegop. Jeannette Wolters.

These are people, whom you may not know and may never meet. They live in different states and different countries. These are names and faces of people who have been present for me. They have been with me through tears and trials. At different points along my Christian journey, they have held my hand and guided me through open doors. They gathered around me and cared and prayed and showed me that in the mess of life there is hope, there is joy, and there is peace.  This is what Jesus looks like today.

Look around you here today. [remember, you’re at church ;)] Take a moment to remember those who are not here. Bring to mind others, individuals and communities who have walked with you at some point in your journey, who have been present. Who were to you, Jesus with skin.  

Jesus was born to Joseph and Mary who were in the midst of an unsettling, but exciting story. They did not know what came next in their journey, but they held Immanuel in their arms. Whatever their next step, whatever darkness and trouble came, they knew God was with them.

When the tears that fill your eyes blur the road ahead. When sorrow has such a hold on you that you can’t imagine days getting any better. Look around you. [still at church!] We have each other. We have the body of Christ - sisters and brothers who will hold our hands, let us rest our head on their shoulders. Who will embody the Christian story and be present. We have Jesus with skin, God with us.

I can go without raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens.  Girls in white dresses and snowflakes will not make me hope for better days. They will not calm the sting of the bee or lessen the pain of a dog bite.

But I have you, my sisters and brothers you, the body of Christ, you are my favorite things. 

Monday, January 6, 2014

Teacher Wish List

Being single and not particularly tied to a place, I'm excited and slightly anxious about where my classroom will be located next fall.
How do I even begin this search? I've made a wish list! 

I would like my new school to be:
  • in or near a fun city
  • near a body of water
  • warmish in the winter
  • bike-to-from-able
I would like my new school to have:
  • an administrator who supports and leads.
  • a secretary who smiles. 
  • teachers who care
  • colleagues who have fun
Here are some other Google searches that has been directing my search: 
  • happiest cities to live
  • best cities for elementary teachers
  • top ten healthiest cities
  • smalltown feel in big cities
  • best cities for singles
It's not too much to ask, right?

(I know, I know, I may not get a teaching job right away, but a girl can hope!)

Saturday, December 28, 2013

2013 Year in Review

I welcomed in the 2013 New Year laughing with and enjoying the company of good friends in the hills of North Carolina. On the trek south I had a wonderful visit with my aunt and uncle in Indiana and the journey back allowed me to call in on my cousin and her family in Kentucky.

In January, I resumed a rather heavy load of undergrad classes which proved to be thought provoking and entertaining. My field of study was English where for 4 months I lived and breathed Shakespeare’s A Tempest and the Hunger Games Trilogy, among other works and topics.

The New Year also brought with it a new vigor for running. December 1st, I registered for my second half-marathon taking place on April 13 thinking by then Michigan would be entering its beautiful spring weather phase. Snow, sleet and wind on that day proved otherwise. Undeterred, I ran this race and many more in the months following, picking up a few enthusiastic running buddies along the way.  

It was a delight beyond words to return to Prague in May to celebrate the completion of service of Denise and Keith Jones after 15 years as Rector at the International Baptist Theological Seminary. This was my first visit after leaving Prague in February 2010, and it was a rich and meaningful time with dear friends. 

I completed my undergrad courses in April and in May began taking classes full-time in the Graduate Teacher Certification (GTC) program at Grand Valley State University. Throughout the summer I had an intensive schedule of classes which were interesting and challenging.

My summer was full of fun and small adventures. I did a lot of running, some biking, and a bit of camping. Alongside of my school responsibilities, I continued work as Director of Children and Family Ministries at Grandville United Methodist Church.

This fall I entered my first elementary classroom to begin Teaching Assisting and (starting January 2014) Student Teaching. I have fallen in love with twenty-three 3rd graders and look forward to my own class in the future.

An unexpected highlight of 2013 was a weekend in Florida! A family who has become good friends and I spent an early weekend of November not only in Florida, but in Disney World. We didn’t just run around the parks, but we ran through the parks for the Wine & Dine Half-Marathon. I felt like a little kid and loved it!

My 2013 was not laden with so many changes as 2012, for which I am thankful. This was a year of settling-in and carrying-on in new routines and environments. As best I could, I kept my head in the books, my feet on the ground, and my heart stayed on what was important.

I wish for each of you that 2014 will be full of adventures, peace and laughter; and that you will experience God’s love in amazing ways.

Have a joyous holiday season! 
~ Vanessa

Saturday, December 21, 2013

Third Place

I've been ruminating on a particular singlehood preponderance for some time. It's a recognition of a reality that makes my heart a little sad. I will preface this by reaffirming my continued contentment and current preference to being single. For me. 

The thought first came to me late winter/early spring when I was running a number of races around West Michigan. I was consistently getting third place in my age category. I was happy to be placing and it was always a thrill to hear my name announced calling me up to receive my award. However, I eventually grew tired of my third place stagnation and longed for and worked at moving into second or first place.  

During my phase of third placedness I recall sighing to a friend, "I'm tired of being third place." My saying that out loud kept the phrase resonating in my head throughout the day. In a completely separate area of life, I was arranging a few outings with friends independently of each other, and due to spouses or children nothing seemed to be falling into place.

I translated my third place position in running to my third place position in relationships. Please do NOT read this as an invitation to a pity party for poor single Vanessa. This is not the case. It is just a realization of the place that a single adult often holds in relationships with friends who are married or in committed relationships.

It is nice to be someone's No.#1. Really nice. To know that you will be the person that they will and can change plans for. To be the one that they will tell their stories to first, to be number one on their speed dial. To be the one consulted on purchases, trips, or employment opportunities.

My dearest friends will cancel or postpone plans with me if a husband/wife/significant other prefers, decides, or needs them to. A husband works late. A child is sick. A wife would rather you just stay home. (Oh, yes, I realize those examples drip with stereotypes, but you get my point.)

Nope, I'm not asking for change. I fully appreciate the commitment and mutual respect in families and I want to be a cheerleader for that. Always.

Just because it makes me a little sad, doesn't mean I'm calling for an upheaval of family relations and order. I have rich and endearing friendships that make my heart glad. They are full of laughter and love. I am deeply valued and respected and given opportunity to express love uniquely to them - even from third place.

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

A Week of Waiting

Being confident that Sunday morning at 0900 hours I would be registering to run a marathon at the end of May, my mind went to a happy, gluttonous place. My mouth followed.
Training for a marathon, I'm told, will put me in the best shape of my life. In light of this, I thought I would have a final hurrah for my taste buds by eating and drinking consumables that I'm not sure I even missed, but were sure nice to indulge in.

However, as noted earlier, the great run registration has been delayed ~ not good for two reasons.

Firstly, it has given me too much time to contemplate my sanity in having earlier decided that running a marathon was a good idea. I'm tempted to bypass this whole endeavor.

Secondly, it has given me seven more days to look ahead a few months to when I will be in the "best shape of my life", and thus have been eating without borders. Ugh. And I feel it ~ gross and heavy. This coupled with the blizzard and piles of snow on my running paths has kept me indoors and doing very little. Even visiting the gym has been dull and close to effortless.
This evening, apart from some nice red wine, I've changed my course and won't imbibe so freely and consequently continue to lose whatever level of fitness I may have achieved from my earlier running activities.

So, tomorrow morning, early morning, I'm off to the gym. Not a chance of running outside with our current Michigan Winter Wonderland. And we'll see what happens on Registration Sunday.

Sunday, December 8, 2013

He who hesitates is lost


Uh Oh! 
Now I have one week in which I will likely talk myself out of and into registering for this marathon about 14 times!

Saturday, December 7, 2013

The Road Ahead

Tomorrow afternoon I will lace up


after having registered for the


taking place on 


Yes, I may be a little


Wish me luck!